Archive for December 2011

Voices Beneath the Mental Distress Services

December 2, 2011

Yes, here we all are, service users, survivors, supportive family members, friends from almost all sectors of the community, sitting beneath the throne of arrogance, ignorance and a very full wallet.

Make no mistake – money talks. If psychiatrists were offered a rise in pay and bribes to’s join a ‘new’ ‘status quo’ they’d leap at the opportunity to pretend they’d been aware for years. They’d throw their newtonian mechanics drivel onto the bonfire (where it belongs vis a vis human beings) put their measuring instruments away and start listening to a new tune.

The new tune plays here. It plays in Hertfordshire. It plays in almost every locality in this country and abroad.

Tracey Holley calls it ‘Shared Humanness’ – fair pointer to where we’re going.

So. Let’s begin with a literal song, shall we? /Sit Down; James

Let’s start climbing the throne – we’re not bloody insurrectionists – we’re human beings sick and tired of being treated like objects of chemistry research tests, of being watched like criminals and caught for crying on a park bench…

We stand, with children, for true humanity – the free expression of emotions providing these do not harm ourselves or others; the right to enter serious life crises and to journey through them, after all – we are the ones strong enough to dare to; the right to step outside of ‘normal boundaries’ of behaviour – with the proviso of protecting self and others:

We can think what we like. We can believe what we like. We can cry when we like. We can dance when and where we like as long as it doesn’t create a public nuisance. We can talk to ourselves, the trees or the sky above, we can call ourselves Jesus, Allah, Buddha or Jam; We can dream great dreams and try to achieve them; We can sit at a coffee table at sainsbury’s and have a weep after almost falling over in the aisle if that is our wish – and request assistance if that is our need

Well, one of these events brought the police running, swiftly followed by the mental distress services… I refuse to refer to them in relation to ‘health’ – their history is so fraught with tragedy and disgrace that frankly ‘disstress’ is still a massive euphemism.

Which is, because, once I received a ‘mental health diagrossness’ (sp?)(;-) I no longer had any of these rights. My behaviour was subject to weekly scrutiny and rumour and the only behaviour which kept them away from me and which kept me at home with my children, was the behaviour of severe, suicidal, depression.

My ‘mania’ was much more dangerous – it prevented me from being my ‘normal self’; it indicated a serious burn out of adrenalin and of energy and an upsurge of issues that I needed to deal with. I was immediately hospitalised and drugged into insensibility until I’d recovered my severely depressed self.

Luckily, at least for me, the depression has been addressed over the last 8 years by throwing drugs at me that deadened my libido (life drive) and emotions in general and left me easily and manageably ‘flat’.

The message? “Be dead, but pretend to be alive”.

If that’s normal – stuff it.

TalkHeals folks – let’s get talking, here as elsewhere

Sleep Well x

Hello world!

December 2, 2011

Transforming the Old in Light of the New

On the 1st January 2012 I announced that I wastaking a break from humanity as I've known it: 'see you on the other side' about a part of my life journey that I could not face with others but must take on alone. It was a journey that began in earnest on 25th December and it remained difficult, challenging and lonely until at least 5th January, after which the transitions of territory became less harsh and exhausting.

By 6th – 7th January I was moving toward a gentle plateau and by 9th I found myself looking back on the travel and looking outward to the pleasing vista before me with sense of pleasure and energy – at last I was moving to the other side; my life would be accompanied once more: and that is what happened, had already been happening since 3rd January, had I simply registered it.

So – for the first time in my new self/life, may I say: “Hello World, very pleased to meet you. Sit with me, have a drink, let’s sink into a rest and enjoy kicking up our heels, we’ve worked so very hard and we’ve saved Hope for us – that must be worth celebrating, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather celebrate with than you.” 🙂

Freshly United in Loving Humanity

Heaven From Here


Written early hours of 11/01/2012

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