Come Together.

Volcanic Brightening Burst

Volcanic Brightening Burst

Sometimes things, people, places come together. Sometimes they even come together in a good way.

They’ve been coming together in a good way for me during the last two years.

There was of course the ‘girl interrupted’ moment (6 weeks) two years ago when the Mental Health Services of Redditch & Bromsgrove made their final demonstration of legalised force and empowerment to invade my legal and corporal life and imprison me for publishing things they considered best left unsaid. They took this power, astonishingly, whilst I was in bed at 2 am in the morning and they asserted the right to do so unobserved by a video camera held in my home in order to document absurd conduct by self same.

They did so by intimidating my elder daughter into giving them permission, by scaring her witless, by dragging her from (her final year at) university to come and ‘look after me’ for two weeks so that I could be kept quiet for that time. The deal was – prevent me from writing my blog, watch my every move and tuck me into bed by 10pm.

She found the house policing very frustrating as I really neither wanted nor appreciated being policed. She later returned with a box in which to take my dog in lieue of my being sectioned. The job was not achieved so Benjii was collected later after I had been bundled into an ‘ambulance’ and driven to Worcester where no bed was available for me.

So – a lost night’s sleep for an unbelievably outrageous mission. By around 2.30 pm the same day I was transferred to Redditch where I continued to write my blog and to co-ordinate activity around it via the assistance of a couple of good friends and to continue a conference plan despite my situation.

Sadly, Mary Nettle amongst a few other well meaning ‘service user’ ‘friends’ paid me the very dubious honour of declaring me ‘ill’ and assuring the relevant social world that the conference was an illness driven fantasy that would not take place. Frankly that kind of talk ensured it didn’t – costing me £250 and credibility at the Adrian Boult Hall.

It now being nearly two years since this debacle, however, it is time to forgive others for their bungling behaviours

(not all others, Francis Leech, Tim someone or another and some other guy who I recognise and won’t forget in a hurry, need to be aware – there are occasions where I make a mental note to follow up. I always do. That it hasn’t happened means this: I haven’t got that far yet. 99% of all success lies in the planning. I am the very mistress of the planning scenario – and as I get older I get more meticulous and consequently, I suspect, more liable to success… Needless to say in other realms I have plans afoot – let’s see how the year unfolds :-))

Innocent errors are always forgivable. Self interested; ignorant; incompetent errors sit within a different zone. Errors that follow a strategy of deviant motivation require the greatest of agility and the sincerest of purpose. I have spent my life like a dog with a bone. I remain an individual driven by this inner impulse.

This year I am going to exercise as much wisdom as I can muster. I am also going to exercise as much temperance, compassion and purity of purpose.

Whilst also accepting that I am an ordinary mortal with ordinary passions and ordinary capacities. Sometimes I simply cannot pass over damaging or greedy or dishonest conduct and continue to sit comfortably. In that case I have to take action to remedy the wrongs observed. This is my year of retribution. That is: my year of planning. Nothing and no-one can stop me. Not God – for He would if I were wrong, so – let’s leave Him out of it, if I am wrong he certainly would; but no-one else. It’s all going to be in the planning.

So – yes, it’s evident that there is still ‘old stuff’ that I am wanting to clear out of my life since it no longer belongs to my life. It sits in my life as an irritant and so it must go.

As to the new: the new, that which has been accumulating in my life in the form of friends and purposes – is all quite wonderful: hopeful; fulfilling; interesting; peaceful; helpful; fun; – my life is complete – especially now my two daughters and I have been healing our relationships for enough time that the pleasure is evident and the pain is drifting away.

Adolescence acts like a whirlwind of rage through the heart of the home and when it passes the rest that settles is so needed, so welcome, such a huge relief that it is a little like, I imagine, finding oneself having survived a war.

And since Home is where the Heart is: this home has now re-emerged as a happy one, and I can’t even begin to tell you what this is meaning to me. I have just enjoyed a Happy Christmas and I am looking forward to a Very Merry New Year 😉

And – to all of you I wish the Happiest of Beginnings to a fresh new year – the snow will fall in February to close business from the old, and March will bring daffodils to dance in the spring – and providing we have stored our nuts and berries the next few weeks will be an enjoyable hibernation of all kinds of wonderful summer fruitions.

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