Archive for the ‘Phoenix From the Flames’ Category

Windows, Mac and Linux Battle – as rap (Jobs vs Gates) for the weekend ;-)

December 12, 2013

At the weekend we will be producing a christmas edition of this site’s home page.

There will be an announcement regarding the sliding in of our commercial site around the til-now personal blog, which will be renamed once this transit takes place.

Charles Harrison

Charles Harrison: he inspired Janie

The new home page will be more like a magazine front page + contents page in format, with basic information there to inform visitors about different choices and options of content across the site. Parts of it will be based on private subscription and there will be a ‘shop’ option. However there will be publically available content too.

All singing All smoking

As did her dad

The date of transition is planned as 6th January 2014.  It may be moved to 11th of January to coincide with the official launch of MissionMiraculus Ltd.  This event will take place at the Malt House in Birmingham. and will be strictly invitation only.  A public launch will follow date & venue tba.

Leamington Road2Recovery Show, June, 2010

Leamington Road2Recovery Show, June, 2010

Janie has been in London this week and mid-month she’s heading for Leeds & Keighley, to attend an awards ceremony and visit friends,  before returning  to North London to spend Christmas with her family.

family love

family love

She’ll be nipping back home to oversee the work being done to the front of her house on the way though, and hopes to catch up with a few friends then, and maybe even have an extremely small party, with food and music, to which she invites no-one at all but herself!! 😉

See you over the weekend probably 😉

MissionMiraculus Ltd: An Update.

December 5, 2013

It’s been a growing time, a harvesting time, a storing and a planning time since June.

Yep - it's harvesting time ;-)

Yep: It’s harvest time!!

It’s been a balancing time; an evaluating time; a time of quiet achievement since the fruits were fallen and were gathered for storing.  Autumn – the richest, most vibrant season of the year – with all the fruit being gathered from the summer and all of the storing cold of the winter approaching in the air, in which is hiding the wake of call of spring next year… what a wondrous cycle of eternal joy as weather – how unutterably wonderful is the gift of human life  = we are  designed precisely for the purpose of sensing and enjoying these seasons and

harvesting amok lol

harvesting amok lol

The signals aren’t visible, mostly, although ‘MissionMiraculus Ltd.’ is now a registered company and we have gained the  invaluable input of an independent-minded business consultant, simply because he is a true friend and doesn’t either mince words or deliver bills for his advice that will embarrass the  funds available pre-launch. Indeed – he hasn’t delivered a bill at all. So we have made a mental note of our calculated profit from his guidance and mentoring and we’re figuring in a percentage of takings after expenses which we will put his way once we’re up and running.

Our finance director has no job to do of course, until the business starts being operative, whilst the general assistant and p.a. our adorable Glenn, continues to surf bus and plane sites and facebook chatlines while he waits for  instructions.

Our CEO is on the job of translating instructions into task lists and delivering on the templates for our market research;  job 1 for the visible company – still pre-economic viability, but focussed directly on the matter of becoming a uniquely tooled-up and skilled up force to be reckoned with vis a vis mental health crisis and recovery interventions and support.

The multiple hatter

The multiple hatter

Meanwhile, with  her other hats on, Janie is: wearing the tea-pot hat for  being sociable and hospitable to regular visitors; bowler hat on top for the scheduled house maintenance & development meetings in amongst; spends time on the phone wearing a hand crocheted beret or river island woolly hat;  the feminine black homberg-alike comes on for trips to the bank manager etc;  hatlessly writes and plans for at least 2 hours a day; nips to the University of Birmingham in whatever she likes,  & to Worcester (always black and grey and self restraining) for ‘survivor’ networking, teaching and offering consultancy input for services transformation and research.  95% of her work is voluntary, for which she gets her travelling expenses and, occasionally access to water, though often a cup of coffee and even a biscuit – oh yes, and utter anonymity as a sign of respect (?).

On the home improvements front, Janie has homed in on a scandinavian style log-cabin/office of generous proportions that she has space for at the top of her garden. She plans to  move all of her academic and business work to it and to work from there during office hours and return home afterwards and between times, to cook, socialise and paint. The log cabin is quite divine:-

Log-Cabin/Office, Scandinavian Style

Log-Cabin/Office, Scandinavian Style

It will appear as something of a ‘granny annexe’ and will include a chilling/sleeping room; a toilet/shower room; a storage room and a working area. It involves getting permissions from the council locally and possibly regionally to acquire access to the back of the property via the driveway and grounds of a public institution.  Due to MissionMiraculus’s social purposes, we forecast a deal to  be struck between the institution and its purposes and the purpose and focii of MMus Ltd: we will offer to provide learning recovery work for its clients in return for the said access.

Leaving a lot of gardening work to do in what will become quite uniquely designed and maintained grounds with genuinely wild spots alongside parts of ‘an english cottage garden‘.

Janie is feeling inspired about these domestic areas of her development. She is noticing a huge wave of empowerment from, frankly, the gift her father left her on his death bed last year.  She is probably singing ‘I’m a material girl’ right now lol (not – because she can’t remember any other words lol).  She has realised that mess and clutter have been mirroring her inner muddled, crisis driven state for years.

As a friend put it to her: ‘why did these mental health people come in and see you in that state without doing anything to help you?’. The answer was, of course, that that state was perfect for writing about in documents ‘validating’ ‘severe mental illness‘ diagnoses and descriptions: the job was not to remove the problem, it was to notice and share reports about it.  It is a pleasantly and deceptively delivered form of bureaucracy and private-eye journalism – so damned deceptive that I’ve never met a cpn, social worker or medic who has a clue that’s all they’re doing.

It was an effing rude invasion of my space. Thank god they’ve taken their damned files and buggared off. To some other poor sod probably, prescription pad in hand,  report book in the other….

Janie is planning to get the MissionMiraculus.com website properly constructed and designed and in the public domain by Christmas or thereabouts. It will offer you a link to a different website that will be accessible in full for £5.95 per month.  More of on a different day when it’s worth saying anything else – the two sites are allied and are structurally connected so that MissionMiraculus.com will appear fully formed before the subscriber only site is launched.  Watch this space 😉

Pausing for Gratitude.

December 3, 2013

Emma Swan – what a divine name!!!! – was the girl who gifted me with the arts of gratitude in mind and heart.  I met her in 2009-10 as MissionMiraculus moved to pursue the ‘Road2Recovery Show’ back then, using a grant from the ‘service user’ branch of ‘Time-to-Change’ the illustriously bureaucratic and pretentious, Rethink dominated, Government & Lottery funded Mental Health ‘anti-stigma’ campaigning organ of the stigma delivering services such as psychiatric NHS care.

We are the authors of our own joy: and the inspirers of others'.

We are the authors of our own joy: and the inspirers of others’.

She was doing a research project on the  impact of gratitude back then and I offered to be a participant in the research. So I received my 2 weeks worth of forms (or was it a month?) with spaces to write down each day 5 things which I had noticed in that day for which I could feel appreciative and grateful.

I was a crap participant because I never gave her back the forms and I probably only filled in three at most.

But at a selfish level my life changed forever by this ‘workshop’. It embedded the arts of appreciative and grateful living in the deepest recesses of my mind – and though I slip at times and lose the plot, for the majority of my life I look outwards with a happy and optimistic eye and heart , and brush aside ‘negatives’ with a pretty careless air of wellbeing because my focus is no longer on what I DON’T  have, and what has disappointed me, and is so much more on what I do have and what delights me.

Click the following link for an amusing take on Bas Luhmann’s ‘Wear Sunshades’ song:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_aMTayDpxw

I am so filled with gratitude today that ‘my cup runneth over’.

‘Thank you universe,’ I want to say, ‘your energies are forever and everywhere wiser and more loving and surprising than expressible or fathomable: the worst becomes the soil of the spectacular and the apparent best wears thin and becomes tarnished at the smallest breeze or shower.  My life makes sense at last, and my future is already here and so glorious that sunglasses may prove vital alongside the suncream – even in the literal snow!!!! 🙂

Video Weekend: Arrabbella Faith last year.

November 16, 2013
English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today we bring you a light, yet incisive blurbling by Arrabbella, played over a track by Example – girls let’s unite: we WILL express our feelings, we WILL laugh, cry, shriek with rage, whenever it comes upon us.  We carry emotion for children and men – children lead us, men come kicking and screaming behind us moaning ‘what’s all this emotion – wtf – why can’t you stfu and be like us?!!’

This is why, darlings: we live longer than you do on the strength of our openness – we’d love to see you opening up – it will clear your chest, energise you and lead you into your passions – hurrah!! Go with it (but don’t hit us – that’s a step too far lol)

Now: press the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLfIniLlQu0&list=FLceNkauRdv7SWP627v0qIWw

Steve Jobs Inspires Us Still

November 15, 2013
Janie in 2009

Janie in 2009

Well, we haven’t dropped by to update you of late, and we don’t want to update you yet lol. But we DO want to inspire you!  And we can’t think of a better way to do that than to send you to a video of Steve Jobs addressing some graduates from Stanton University, USA back in the ‘noughties’.

We, by the way, are ushering in the ‘naughties’ – sounds the same, feels a bit naughtier, lmao.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO6cFMRqXqU

Maya inadvertantly embodies MM-us values; Aesthetic Science in Motion.

November 3, 2013

The values of MissionMiraculus Ltd (= MM-us) have been articulated across a range of documents authored by MissionMiraculus & Janie Greville. All of this material is Copyrighted with All Rights Reserved. Today, in particular, we would like to draw your attention to the term ‘Aesthetic Science’. Although Janie Greville has coined this term originally, together with a concept of meaning that refers in and outward to a deep and wide network of knowledges and affective references; it is not the first usage of this term.

One company offering cosmetic surgery have misused the term vis a vis the dictionary definition of the term within The Shorter Oxford Dictionary, a common reference manual for such disagreements, and therefore we anticipate this commercial concern will shortly be renaming their company.

A book as been edited by Arthur P. Shimamura and Stephen E. Palmer, with a telling subtitle – ‘Connecting Minds, Brains, and Experience’. This sounds as if the focal zone for the collection of authors in this volume is subjective experience, not including the subjectivity of the  material body – I  may be mistaken, but I shall order and read this volume within the next month and let you know – if anyone else would like to do likewise that would be great.

For the time being I believe we are the first collective genius to create the new theory of ‘Aesthetic Science’ which will literally, in one swoop, demolish both western science and Modernism, with it’s ‘Post-Modernist‘ spin offs. It will in fact a cosmic blow to post Newtonian Britain and the entire world, but especially USA; UK and Europe (including Russia/USSR).

In addition, quite by accident it will lead to an open and forceful alliance between Sweden & the UK – two unusually strongly independent states / countries within the larger territory of Europe, stretching from Norway and Ireland across to Russia, down to the mediterranean shores of Cyprus, Turkey and Afghanistan.  Communities within two latter, and other ‘borderline’ states,  to have both European and Asian identity issues cheek-by-jowl.  Previous efforts to quell the squabbling have been led by the highly warrior spirited USA and UK organisations; notably, the UN is largely USA controlled with UK support and encouragement too often.  The Teutonic inclination to fire before thinking is balanced by the Viking soul of the Scandinavian’s (including the ‘netherlandish) post-imperial wisdom of taking the following approach to trouble: ‘Think about it, map it, analyse it; reach for the most effective, economic, humane, solution.’ We believe that the ‘nords’ have it sorted. War is no more in these lands. Let’s spread the joy, is what MissionMiraculus thinks.

The theory of Aesthetic Science created, constructed and in the wings of publication, is the brain child of MissMiracle’s MIC & Friends; sister company to MissionMiraculus Ltd.  Though the theory in totalis is not yet visible, it exists. Any use or misuse of these concepts with this name or any other created via MissionMiraculus.com; Talkheals.wordpress.com; facebook pages for missionmiraculus, Arrabella Faith & Janie Greville or referred to or discussed across her networks of colleagues and private friends, will be pursued actively in relation to Copyright Laws. Many thanks for your co-operation.

 

 

Stuck in a Quandary

October 28, 2013
…in relation to last year. Action needs taking in relation to what happened to Janie Greville between February and April 2011. The mental health services listened to protests and anger from distant members of her family  in relation to a blog she was publishing.

They took notice to the degree that they persecuted her until they had actually broken into her home in the middle of the night where she was in bed, frightened of this invasion, and took her to Worcester Psychiatric Hospital where there was no bed for her to rest on.

THIS REPORT IS AN UPDATED VARIANT OF THE ORIGINAL, PUBLISHED ON ‘SILENCELOL.WORDPRESS.COM’ IN MARCH 2012.

The ‘interview’ that took place in her home was a farce driven by a foregone conclusion.

Cheers - Crisis Over, Champagne Living Beginning

Cheers – Crisis Over, Champagne Living Beginning

Her crimes had been to write the truth about a man where truth didn’t flatter him, and to have treated an uninvited ‘home treatment team’ member as if he was someone she was familiar with (she was – and the treatment was mutual, with one difference. He thought he had the right to decide what should and should not constitute the content of the visit. He decided that his boasting of his music should be concealed, and she did not. He reported this as ‘inappropriate behaviour’ and as a ‘symptom of mental illness.’)

The decision to imprison her had already been made. The ‘assessment’ was a mere formality.

Janie has ventured to ask family members how they feel about her going back, now, to complain in formal terms about this appalling incident and series of incidents around it. They are frightened. Every time they hear ‘mental health services’ they picture Janie being bundled into a hospital and then emerging from it in a suicidally depressed state. They just want to forget it.

Will they ever be able to, when Janie can be incarcerated at the call of anyone who doesn’t like what she says because it’s both true and inconvenient to their reputation? Or because they don’t like her un-English open-ness, or her ‘arty’ self presentation on occasion? Or her forthright manner, or her sharp tongue?

Isn’t it time she did stand up for the truth, for justice and to demonstrate the absurdity of psychiatry, at least in relation to her case?

What should she do? Your comments will be most welcome.

Dancing in His Grave

October 24, 2013

Dad’s safest where he is just now…

I wrote this entry, originally, in November 2012 last year, shortly after my father died. Of course, as you will see, it’s a ‘parochial’ piece, pertaining to specifics within my own life and family in the extended sense.

Looking back on this, as I approach the first anniversary of my father’s mortal death (don’t think there’s supposed to be another kind, but I felt like my father’s body survived his spirit by several months, really – he’d lost the will to live earlier in the year when he ‘failed’ yet another ‘tribunal’ held at St Andrew’s Hospital), it strikes almost an orchestral chord with me. This time last year I was a mental health patient (and had been one since 1997), I was ‘incapacitated’ beyond all expectations of sustainable recovery and I was alone, without a partner to share my life with. A year on I am an ex-patient; I am constructing the underpinnings of a successful business; and I am delighted to report that I have been reunited with the partner who appeared in my life, for the first time, back in 2006.

This entry should be read to the song ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong.

My lovely Dad must be dancing in his grave. It’s what he did on top of the soil so presumably he’ll be doing it even more now. He won’t be feeling too hot or too cold, he won’t be feeling too happy or too sad, he won’t be feeling too amused or too enraged – he’ll be as serene as ever he could have felt in this life. That’s a good thought, a good feeling – he’s past pain and past pleasure – a state of utter peace.

Those of us with breath in our lungs and blood running through our veins can’t genuinely imagine this state. After all, our very capacity to experience ourselves as living is dependent on this constant state of flux between various potentially opposite extremes. I can’t offer to throw light onto the matter either, because I don’t remember anything until I was about two so I’m blind and deaf to the eternity I was in before I was conceived and presumably that’s the same space he’s returned to now.

Of course in another sense he hasn’t because a fair few people remember him and hold him in their minds eye and fewer still, in their heart. I hold him in both, and let’s face it, I hold him in the length of my arms and legs, my addictive love of music and my sense of humour. Oh – and in my insistence on personalising anything and everything that comes within my sphere.

I want to check with St Andrews if there are any audio or video recordings of my dad performing to his peers and carers. It would hardly assist me to show the world what a gifted man my father was but it would warm my heart to see anything to keep him alive to me.

For the time being I have his order of service card, young soulful photo at the front, heart warming image of his birthday party in July on the back. To me he’ll never die.

Father of Mine

Father of Mine (Photo credit: Just Us 3)

Which is why I’ve only sobbed about his concrete death a few times so far. I feel like he’s still with me somehow, so most of the time I feel he’s actually closer to hand than he’d been for some years.

Oh what a lovely outlet this is. To speak what’s in my heart in an environment stripped of people who intrude to corrupt it.

The corruption is coming from matters of estate. If you have ever been named in a ‘last will and testament’ or have ever read a novel by Jane Austen you’ll immediately know what I mean. At death the vultures appear and hover – where the body disappears they gather to feed on the living grieving.

Makes you shudder doesn’t it? I’d experienced it in Austen’s novels, and I’d seen it over a meal in Dover when my grandfather died when I was eighteen years old. At the time my Uncle Ivor tried to soothe me by sympathising with my feelings while assuring me that I would feel differently when I got older. But Jane Austen’s novels are about large estates, my grandfather was a millionaire over twenty years ago – it doesn’t make the hovering or the lip slapping or the blood dripping claws any nicer but at least you can see why the booty looks so appealing and unmissable to vultures. – Oh – and I am older now, and I haven’t changed my feelings one iota. Nice try Uncle Ivor (now also in the ether) – I love you for doing your best xx.

My Dad’s estate, after costs, will probably be worth £115,000-120,000, Maximum.

Yet, so far, three people have applied to my Dad’s solicitor to find out the contents of his will in advance of his funeral, have sat together and have left several abusive voice mails on my mobile phone and one has informed me that I am personally responsible for some terrible recent misfortune in their family, all on the grounds that I turned out to be named in my father’s will. Most of the abusive phone calls were made at around 11 O’clock at night on the day of my father’s funeral. A funeral to which these people failed to appear on the grounds that they feared they had not been named in my father’s will and needed to have hard evidence about the matter before deciding whether or not to attend.

Have we left earth and headed for terra-ghastly or what? I don’t know. I only know this: ‘there ain’t nout so strange as folk’.

Feel free to comment dear readers – I’m genuinely perplexed.

Empty Soul Smile: Vultures

Empty Soul Smile: Vultures

To vultures if hovering over my blog – my words are backed by evidence so please leave me alone now.

My Dad spent a lot of his life persuaded by the 18-20th Century obsession with Love as a reference to ‘romantic’ attachment. He was fully capable of loving beyond this – he loved his little dogs; he loved music with a passion; he loved photography and colour, pattern and arrangement; he loved ‘the high life’; he loved conversation; he loved fine food; he loved good people; he loved laughing; he loved cups of tea; he loved glasses of wine, sometimes bottles of the stuff. I could go on. My Dad was a loving guy.

My Dad also loved his children, his acquired (by marriage) children and his natural, ie blood, children. This last was a passion of love that showed in letters he wrote to my mother many years ago but which he was discrete about in his day to day existence. He largely accommodated his second wife’s wishes in where to live and what to do, and he did this for a range of reasons, not least that he loved her very much.

There was a strain in him that somehow connected money and possessions with love. I believe that isn’t uncommon although I tend to think that it’s a good idea at times to stand back, notice that the one doesn’t equate with the other, and then take actions in relation to money that make sense and actions in relation to love that make sense – and somehow or another the relationship between the two can stand in a form of conceptual and defensible harmony if not equability.

I think that this paragraph is relevant to my father’s last will and testament. It reflected the passion of his love and it reflected his customary tendency to equate money with feeling. Had he been like me he would have adjusted his will to bring a ‘better’ balance to a wider approach of his loving. But he was not me. He was more impassioned than I am, less ‘dispassionate’ than I’m inclined to be.

Who knows, however, that he didn’t also know in his very bones about this difference in our natures and entrust me – and/or my sister and I, with the responsibility to ensure that peace shall reign in our lifetime? 😉

If the vultures will just shut the f**k up for a while, behind my back as well as by diversionary routes, and turn back into human beings – I shall have some peace in which to think!!!!

English: Back View of Jane Austen, Watercolor

English: Back View of Jane Austen, Watercolor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Good Night Out?

October 13, 2013

Mine was. My friend Julia who usually lives on the south coast on a state of the art house boat is spending a few days with me – so that’s already heaven in the making; her bloke has joined in with us via skype the last couple of nights, which enhances the pleasure; this afternoon was spent in charity shops and primark (for me) which resulted in a few purchases at very little expense; bf is being challenging but then a whole janie-community conference took place today and found that I am almost impossible to tolerate when I am ‘hypomanic’ because I’m not ill enough to shovel in the nuthouse and not sensible enough to put up with if im at large lol – what can I say?

“Sorry” suggested Julia. So I did. She gave me a stern talking to and I have been the picture of obedience all day long until I bubbled over on the phone to bf. He clearly agrees with Julia cos first he put down the phone and switched the device to ‘don’t respond to janie’ and then on fb went to bed. I think I’m in disgrace….

He’ll come round… I realise that I’m something of a nightmare just now and I’m doing my very best. Julia is teaching me but she’s such a strict teacher that I end up with constricted bubbles from presing myself down so hard in order to win praise from her. It simply meant that I mistook bf for a softer taskmaster and got it all wrong lmao….

Where on earth am I to go to be tolerated when I am in this state?

I’ll tell you: Work. Work is going swimmingly lol

Everyone is trained in some way or another to be kind to nutters there. So there I’m able to be myself without fear of offence 🙂

When will my friends and family catch up? :-S

Hello, Good Evening and Welcome! (‘taking tips from walter benjamin’)

September 5, 2013
ZanyJaney 2010; Cannon Hill Pk; Road2Recovery Show

ZanyJaney 2010; Cannon Hill Pk; Road2Recovery Show

…deary me, am I being possessed by David Frost? Please, no, his jacket’s wouldn’t fit me… my shoulders are straight, straight like my mother’s, they look wide and also strong… no there I’m wrong – she looks strong, I’m fragile to gaze at…  lucky me, full of vulnerability – I couldn’t be more pleased… tragedy lies in the line of solid strength, storms will break the impermeable oak; while the willow bends its face beneath the water then,….. sways up again as healthy as before…

What happens when I let my mind wander… (‘loosening of association’)

so – not Seamus Heaney either….
Who else has died this week?
Who’s been born?
Who’s lurking in the shadows,
Scared to be seen?
Who’s losing hope and tiptoe-ing out of the room?
Who’s timidly hiding and slightly showing,
And wishing, someone would lift her to the light?

Who’s visibly playing, playfully dancing,
in this completely heavenly life?
:- Even if moaning at times and crying,
Even if coping badly,
Even if attracting disgrace?
Come out to the playground,

Stop watching the others
Stop thinking that someone wants to hurt you,
Stop counting yourself out of the human race,
By definition you have a full place –
Relax now, get out to enjoy it…
…it’s merely a game away.

Copyright Janie Greville, 11.15pm Sept.5th,2013, All rights reserved.

ooh dear, whoopsy a daisy – just a bit of a loop there, quite forgot what I was supposed to be doing.. remembered tea, got that in the oven, am noticing the strange disconnect between just talking and then suddenly posing as a ‘serious poet’ and a ‘successful one’ (with some conviction) …. deary deary me….

I must put a little hand on that watch…..

I have so very very much to tell you I don’t know where to start….
Let’s call this the introduction, to a book called ‘And the Spark Finally Glides Back into View’ – or some equally enticing title that is both quirky and interesting and – true to the soul of its contents.

I wrote a poem back in the nineties – around 1994 I’d say, thou I’m not sure, which began ‘There’s something in the air’ … I wonder what was going on unbeknownst to me in my district then? I wonder who moved into the atmosphere?

I still don’t know the answer to this question/these questions. It might matter, it might not.

Ms Fox creeps out of her hole... is it safe?

Ms Fox creeps out of her hole… is it safe?

What I do know is that this piece, amongst others written in the 1990’s was the flowering of all my hopes in the form of words. This poem was almost certainly much more significant in the light of subsequent events and processes in my life than it could possibly have appeared back then….

I shall be offering ‘the world’ an analysis of the young artist ‘amelia greville’ (yes – very much a relation) in due course. Her work during the last year has been quite mind blowing for me personally as I’m sitting here, it’s been a labour of sporadic obsession for her, and part of a healing journey to boot – miraculously I am looking at something – it is most telling, most extraordinary, most common, seldom noticed: my children brought me up, stayed near while I suffered and have now moved off into their own lives in such a manner that their going-whilst-staying-near has worked upon me as an aesthetic triumph of healing for me too.

When Jesus said ‘suffer little children to come unto me’ I don’t think people have quite understood what he meant:
he was calling ‘send your little children to me, I am vulnerable, I need their loving hearts, I can’t cope with your abrasive strengths’.

Just a thought.

If so I’m with Jesus all the way – he and I are twins at root, just as are all we who cannot cope with the abrasiveness of adult insensitivity.

Of course – don’t think I’m meaning you if all your sensitivity enables is YOU feeling hurt about YOU. If your boundaries are that strong and tight you’re just the one whose being cuts my spirit down a little – I know you don’t want to, I know you don’t mean any harm – it’s not your fault, you’re just not yet able to see me as just another you. You see – I crave ‘connectedness’ – I don’t want to become you, I don’t want to ‘merge’ with you and I don’t want to ‘take you over’. I just like to feel connected.

Just thought I’d mention..

that I’m just too tired to carry on…. I need to go…

I hope you enjoyed that ‘introduction’. I think it is an exemplary model of ‘realism’ in writing. It is other things, – be patient: I’ve only just begun…

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